Thursday's Oncologist visit was hard to grasp...

Dr Grote (Oncologist) stopped by dad's room for a scheduled visit Thursday morning.

Here are the specifics:
Dad has Stage 4 (advanced) Renal Cell Carcinoma (RCC) Kidney Cancer. It is manageable...but not curable. The cancer started at his kidney. And it is spreading. There is a cancer mass in the center of his upper chest (kinda between his lungs) which is causing his 'wind pipe' to close. Not good. That has caused congestion in one or both lungs. Dad goes into spells of coughing. or trying to cough...that sends him into a 'panic attack'. He just feels 'stressed' like he did when he was taken to the Emergency Room a week ago Thursday.
He is weak. He had dropped down to 98 lbs upon entering the hospital. (He has never weighed over 130 lbs in his life). The cancer has somehow 'paralyzed' one of his vocal cords...making it difficult to speak above a high pitched whisper.

Dr Grote is positively pushing 'quality' of life vs 'quantity' of life for dad. We asked how long would dad have to enjoy his 'quality' of life. An estimated survival rate for this type of cancer is around a year.

Dad has started concentrated radiation for the cancerous mass that is in his chest. He will have 12 to 14 treatments of radiation. ( Monday - Friday. Off for good behavior on the weekends :) )

The doctor is really pushing an experimental chemo drug in pill form called 'Sutent'.
This should help with his quality of life. We are still concerned about Sutent's side effects.
The official 'Sutent' website for RCC patients:
www.sutent.com/content/rcc_home.jsp?setShowOn=../content/rcc_home.jsp&setShowHighlightOn=../content/rcc_home.jsp


The news was hard for all of us. Dad understands that God is still in control. We all try to find humor where and when we can. It helps. I mentioned to dad that we all are 'terminal'. We all will die. But, when you get the news that all you have is maybe a year to live. Would I do anything differently? Maybe it would be a Blessing?
To live each day to its fullest. Treat people differently (especially the ones I love). Strip the stress and worldly pressure that we put on ourselves and enjoy life. I don't know exactly how I feel after Thursday's meeting with Dr Grote. Sad, mad, angry, numb, quiet.
But, I have gotten to share this experience with one special man. His name is Luke. I call him 'Dad'. My girls call him 'Grandpa'. My special helpmate, Paula, has truly kept me going and spent many hours serving my family during this trying time. I Love You. Please pray for my mom, Janie, who has literally spent almost every hour at my dad's side at the hospital.

Still, we all are going to celebrate life with dad. Only God knows the exact expiration date. For all of us! That's OK. I am growing closer to Jesus daily, sometimes hourly.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever. Psalm 73:26